六尺之下第二季

Finishing the second season in one day, eating ice creams until brain freeze kicked in. Then I took ibuprofen and continued watching. It is a very depressing show, mostly because it is brutally honest. This season is even more honest than the first one in that as we get to know the characters, their demons from the past start raging and screaming. Everyone has their demons lurking somewhere, ready to jump into the present whenever we let our guards down. None of us quite understand it and most of the time, we are slaves of our desires, habits, and memories.

The fear and love we experienced never leave us. With no mighty power above us, we are all groping our way forward. We do things we don't understand, and we run away from the consequences because somehow we don't even know how to blame ourselves. We try to cope with violence, drugs, or alcohol and we're worried that perhaps we're inherently evil and beyond salvation. We yearn to be loved and cared, and yet we often push intimacy away when it reaches our inner shell. We don't know how to give ourselves to another human being because we're so afraid of getting hurt or hurting ones we love.

To sum up, life is so often fucked up. But everyone is trying to pretend a perfection which is propagated by the social values and fashion ideas. A family should be loving and nurturing. A teenager should be working hard and getting into top colleges. A man should be charming and responsible while a woman should be caring and warm. Bullshitting stereotypes that lock people in. We envy perfect neighbors while moaning about our own messy lives while the neighbors are doing the exact same thing. We're dishonest. The society is encouraging us to be dishonest.

But life is messy for everyone. This is the hard truth. And the characters in this season are leading such comprehensive struggles and inner battles that as a foreign viewer growing up in a completely different culture, I'm very convinced and can identify with countless psychological torments suffered by the characters. It is this brutal honesty about life that makes these people vivid and real. You can berate them for foolishness and misconduct, but you can also appreciate the vulnerability and kindness within.

Given that we're all vulnerable and foolish in the face of this messy life, what indeed, is an ideal life? I've fantasized about my version of an ideal life in which I'm living with books and am free to run and travel whenever I want. No torments, of course. But this is more like pure fantasy. I guess more realistically, an ideal life which is still full of our demons and where people hurt and love each other at the same time, as long as you keep trying and going, it is an ideal life. You try to keep your shit together and when you can't, you take a break and come back, and face the responsibilities you have to shoulder. You just have to try and trick yourself into believing that it gets better.

Try to live an honest life as much as we can. Be honest with ourselves and the people around us. Bad things will happen and our demons will still haunt us. But we have to learn to face it and try to understand it. And when life is indeed so overwhelming and cruel, we have the right to stop for a while or even to quit. To me, this is the ideal life and the Fisher's are still trying.

曾看到这样一句话：“得到就是失去的开始”，生命总是有期限的，这是我活了二十多年从人、事、感悟到的最深刻也是最无助的事，明天与意外我们从不知道哪个先到来，如果生命硬要加个长度，那最理想的是多少年？三十年？青春年华未逝之前？；四十岁？壮志未消之前？；五十岁？感叹生命之前？；七八十岁？接近死亡、惧怕死亡之前？ 不知道，向死而生、向生而死，我们该选哪个？我们从医院哇哇大哭诞生之后就一步步走向死亡，“生命算什么？其实根本不算什么，因为我们注定会走向死亡，但这并不妨碍中间所经历的珍贵！”我也记不清这是电视剧上看到的还是评论看到1的一句话，这就是生命？我也不知道！ 看了两季六尺之下，看到很多评论说这是一部“人的一生无论什么年龄段都不得错过的神剧，但看过一遍之后我应该不会再看第二遍。”，这部剧我看了两季给我的感觉就是阴郁、惨烈、破碎、沉默中爆发或爆发后沉默、点点超现实的冷漠与温情还有每集中场景调换时慢慢扩散的空白。 六尺之下最吸引我的地方就是编剧总能不断的运用主角们、配角们喜怒哀乐、道德、经历来平衡这部关于生与死题材的底线，这部剧说实话我不喜欢里面任何一个角色，但也不讨厌里面任何一个角色，因为我看着他们我总能在他们身上找到我可能相似、或者以后相似的点，讨厌不起来，因为不想间接讨厌自己，但又不喜欢，不想成为那样、这样的人，而看这剧又得到了什么？仔细想想真的我活了二十三年竟然从未为自己的人生仔细想想，算不算一种悲哀，随波逐流。 里面的主角们都是残缺的，精神上、心灵上、物质上、或多或少、可有可无，然后再加上一集一次死亡、一集一个葬礼、一集一场生离。 或许我喜欢这部剧的原因就是它探讨着生命的长度，或多或少、过多过少。

I came upon a child of God He was walking along the road And I asked him, "Where are you going?" And this he told me

"I'm going on down to Yasgur's farm I'm gonna join in a rock 'n' roll band I'm gonna camp out on the land I'm gonna try an' get my soul free"

We are stardust We are golden And we've got to get ourselves Back to the garden

"Then can I walk beside you? I have come here to lose the smog And I feel to be a cog in something turning"

"Well, maybe it is just the time of year Or maybe it's the time of man I don't know who l am But you know, life is for learning"

We are stardust We are golden And we've got to get ourselves Back to the garden

By the time we got to Woodstock We were half a million strong And everywhere there was song and celebration

And I dreamed I saw the bombers Riding shotgun in the sky And they were turning into butterflies Above our nation

We are stardust Billion-year-old carbon We are golden Caught in the devil's bargain And we've got to get ourselves Back to the garden

Woodstock. by Joni Mitchell.

I can never totally understand you and myself. I can never stop hurting you and myself. But at least I can walk beside you, and myself.

"But right now I just want you to know I love you I think you are so beautiful." (Claire Fisher, S02 E11)

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2i-2EZQXc